I very much like Lorde's music and appreciate the kind of counter-opulence/artificiality message she carries. That being said, I think there may be some room for improvement in her methods at getting the message across, based on a few things I have read on the internet regarding criticisms of other celebrities. In fact, I think this principles applies well to anyone who wishes to call out the truth in a way that is constructive.

From what I read, Lorde had called out a few musicians by saying their music had no message of value to the listeners, etc. You can look all this stuff up. There were a lot of congratulatory comments from fans on standing up and speaking out against the media machine, which seems to promote an unrealistic idealism in our self image and to promote shallow and materialistic objectives in life. I tend to agree with Lorde on this. However, by simply calling singers out, she invited retaliation. Not that speaking out was inappropriate, but it was perhaps ineffective. I think there is a better, more productive way to invite change than to call it out (most of the time-there are situations where a spade just needs to be called a spade).

Let me give you an example. Let's say I had a girlfriend who was upset because she no longer fit in her favorite clothes. To me it might be obvious that she had gained weight. One approach might be to simply say that she looks great and I love her just how she is. Hopefully that is true, but it isn't helping. That is, a truth is being avoided, and weight gain is an actual health issue which perhaps should be addressed. On the other hand, it is of no use for me to simply point out that she is getting fat and needs to lose weight. I think this is obvious to most of us. Although the statement may be technically true, it is hurtful in a way that is not likely to inspire her to improve. If anything it may move her to an eating disorder, as well as add a strain to our relationship.

Now here's what I think is an effective approach. I might say something like 'You know, honey, I've been growing a bit tight in my old clothes as well. How about we take half an hour every evening to go jogging together until we can fit in them again?' In this way the truth is acknowledged, no one is hurt, and in fact I am strengthening my relationship by allowing us to deal with the problem together and in fact spend more time with each other.

How might this strategy work with celebrities? Why, they are people too. They have feelings. For the most part, I bet they want what's best for their fans. They may have different priorities than their critics. Lorde accused Selena Gomez of having lyrics that were anti-feminist, for example. I don't know if that's true, but if I were Lorde and wanted a change, this might be an opportunity to write a great song that I feel promotes a positive feminist message, and invite Selena to feature in it. If that's too much, just keep working hard at making hit songs with positive messages. Most people, and I'd wager most celebrities, like positive messages. Write something inspiring that makes other people want to be inspiring as well.

Anyways this is the type of thing I think about at 3am when I can't sleep.

A couple days ago I was on the computer and overheard something on the television that was kind of interesting. Someone was being interviewed (either by Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert, I don't remember). It was an author who had written a book as to why marijuana should not be legalized. This man apparently had addictions in the past, though I don't recall if pot was one of them. But his point was interesting. He wasn't attacking anything about addiction or physical health. He said the danger of drugs was that they were teaching a generation of people to pursue artificial happiness. He basically said that yes, drugs feel good, but it is an artificial high that disappears when the drug wears off, and by legalizing pot we are telling people that this is an appropriate way to pursue happiness. What this means is that people will pursue happiness this way rather than the more difficult way of self-improvement, quality time with friends and family, etc.

I think this same principle applies to pornography and casual sex. These are things we are naturally and strongly drawn to. They are desirable, but the effects are not lasting. In both cases there are no emotional attachments being made (at least not healthy ones). There is no relationship to continue the euphoria afterward, and so after the experience participants are left with nothing (except possibly an STD or a new baby in the case of casual sex, or the realization you just wasted several hours of your life in the case of porn). Often people express this as a strength of casual sex. People say all they want is sex with no attachments. But I feel like this is training oneself to avoid what would ultimately be a happier relationship.

In a traditional relationship, a strong emotional bond would (ideally) be formed BEFORE sex takes place. This means that after sex a couple would still be left with strong feelings for each other, as well as a commitment to each other because, hey, sex IS great and we can keep doing that. But now you are trained to maintain the more difficult parts of a relationship such as building trust, selflessness, and spending time together. This is more work, of course, and from the outside I can see why people might say 'Hey-I just want the sex.' But a strong relationship allows you to be happy with someone after the sex is over. Sex doesn't become the highlight of your day-it is an enhancer to happiness that already exists. This depends, of course, on the idea that you have a positive relationship already, which I know isn't always the case. But IDEALLY you have carefully considered who your partner is and developed positive personal traits that foster a happy relationship BEFORE you worried about sex to make sure you are emotionally compatible. (Too often I see people pursue a relationship with the focused idea of having sex, rather than how much they will enjoy spending time with the other person. This is a stupid strategy as sex will likely be a small part of your day).

Anyway same sort of problem with porn. Rather than training yourself to go out, meet people and build relationships, you train yourself to look for the quick and easy solution to satisfy your hormones. This means you are essentially robbing yourself of the satisfaction of building a positive intimate relationship with someone which can ultimately lead you to much greater satisfaction and happiness than an evening alone on the internet.

Well, I've been wanting to learn to paint for a long time but haven't had much luck until this week. A few years ago I met a local girl named Kristy Gordon who now lives in New York (her site is http://kristygordon.com/) and found out she is a painter who occasionally does workshops here in the Okanagan. The first couple I missed due to work and other engagements, and last spring I signed up for a community course in Kelowna which got cancelled. So I finally made it to this one, and am glad I did. It was a lot of fun and Kristy was great. We were doing portraits, and we had to find one that met certain specifications for what she wanted to teach in the class. Originally I wanted to do a painting of my grandpa but couldn't find a suitable picture of him, so I found a good one of Malala Yousafzai on the internet to use as a reference photo. Here is the final result:

It's an oil painting, so it seems to take a long time to dry (someone told me it can even take months to dry all the way through if the paint is really thick). Anyway for my first painting I'm pretty happy how it turned out. I can still see a lot of my mistakes in it (and I forgot to sign it, but it will be wet for ages so I have time) but really I think it turned out good enough to go on the wall. Have found another hobby!

I notice I have a lot of posts about dreams. I am a frequent and vivid dreamer, and the contents often entertain me. So here is another one.

First, I would just like to say that I have disproven the entire premise of the movie 'Dreamscape': you do not die in real life if you die in your dreams.

Underneath the church building I attended as a child there are dirt-floored tunnels which I believe were used as access to the pipes and such under the building. As a child these were fun to explore. In this dream, I was back at that church building with some guy who was the host of a TV show (though there were no camera crews with us at the time. And I don't recall if he was a real person or an invention of my dream). So I told him we should go explore these tunnels. He seemed hesitant, thinking perhaps I was luring him to his doom, as he didn't know me very well, and so I went first. The tunnel was filled with storage, and I commented on this, telling him none of that stuff had been there before. On my left was a shelf were some bags, and behind one there was a noise and movement. I thought perhaps it was a rat or something. I paused a moment before proceeding forward.

Soon I saw a girl standing in front of some curtains. At first I was confused why she was in the tunnel. I knew her-she had been a student of mine when I was an ESL teacher. She led me around the corner and there, sitting on and around a car in front of some nice townhouses,  sat every Mexican I have ever met. My first thought was, 'Are they living down here?' (I did not think it strange there was a street of clearly-outdoor townhouses in the tunnel). I thought maybe they had all decided to slip back in Canada illegally and hide under the church. But I soon found out that I was in fact dead, and they were there to escort me into the afterlife.

I didn't know what had killed me. It could have been the TV host, and it could have been whatever I saw moving behind the bag on the shelf. It could have been something else. I didn't know. But I knew I was dead. Actually I felt pretty good. I noticed right away that my body was more energized and wouldn't be subject to things like hunger or fatigue. And the street of townhouses was pretty new and clean and sunny, so it was a nice place. So I got to chatting with the Mexicans as we walked down the street. And then I woke up.

Final thought: There is a lot of fuss about illegal immigrants from Mexico. We all seem pretty afraid they'll take our jobs and drain our social welfare programs. But here's the thing: maybe, just maybe, the Mexicans get to decide who gets into Heaven, so you should think twice before turning them around at the gate or they might do the same to you when it REALLY counts.

I had a couple interesting dreams about God many years ago which I don't know if I've ever shared with anyone. I have no reason to believe there is truth to them, but they did cause me to look at God in an interesting new way.

Both dreams occurred while I was serving a mission for the LDS church. In the first dream, I found myself settled down next to a large building which looked like a temple. There was nothing remarkable about the place at this point, though I looked around with a lot of curiosity, wondering if I could see any angels or other interesting heavenly beings. (I had not been told by anyone that this was heaven, but I felt it instinctively). There was a time lapse, as is common in dreams, and I found myself in a room inside that temple with a few friends from my childhood. We were engaged in activities that I knew would be frowned upon in heaven. Though we were already in heaven, we didn't dare leave the room for fear of the condescension or punishment that might be inflicted we leave our room. But soon I realized I would be stuck in that small room forever, and whatever it was we were doing was making me somewhat miserable and I wanted out. I overcame my fear and left the room, though my friends did not come with me. I immediately felt a sense of wonder and peace, and there was no condescension or discipline at all from the beings outside the room. It was merely my own fear and previous unwillingness to follow the rules that had kept me trapped in that little room.

I soon found a woman cooking sausages in a small kitchen. I knew instantly this was my Heavenly Mother (for those of you unfamiliar with LDS teachings, we believe God the Father has an actual body, he is a different personage than the Son, and it is generally accepted that he is married, and we refer to his wife as Heavenly Mother, though she is seldom referred to in doctrinal literature). Anyways she was absolutely the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life. She wasn't glowing or anything as we often imagine heavenly beings. In fact she looked remarkably human, except her physical perfection far surpassed anyone I'd ever seen. She had dark curly hair and was wearing casual clothing. She had perfect skin and an ageless look-youthful but wise. I can't recall her face clearly now, but during the dream I was amazed at seeing how perfect she looked. She was cooking for a 'small gathering' of 1500 of her and the Father's closest friends. I saw the tables that had been set up and remember thinking how large a setup it seemed, but to her this was really a quiet, intimate gathering of a few close friends. I soon saw God the Father speaking to some people. I wanted to talk to him but he was quite engaged with some other people making preparations for the dinner. Therefore in this dream I only spoke with Heavenly Mother. But I remember how perfect Heavenly Father looked, and that it was nothing like people imagine in pictures and movies. He was clean shaven, and had blond, well-kempt hair. He was extremely muscular-more so than anyone I have ever seen, but not all veiny and gross like some body builders. In fact it was quite a becoming look.  He too was an image of perfection, while simultaneously looking more normal and human than I would have thought.

The only other part of this dream that I recall was near the end, where I was talking to Heavenly Mother and a trampoline was pulled out as Heavenly Father liked trampolines. Yes, that seems odd. The importance I felt was that God did in fact have his own individuality and interests. I wanted to talk to him, but he was down below where I was sitting with Heavenly Mother. She told me to fly down there and talk to him, which I was surprised to learn I could do, but then I woke up.


The second dream was a bit shorter but also interesting. I saw Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother building a small house next to a large castle. The house was a unique design but nothing special. Heavenly Father was cutting 2 X 4's on a pair of sawhorses, and Heavenly Mother was just sitting on a sawhorse and kind of hanging out with him. I was surprised at how perfect God's work was, and that he was doing it by hand. He could saw through the wood in a single thrust and leave no imperfections or marks along the cut. And all his angles were perfect. It amazed me again that here was an all powerful being doing manual labor, but in such a perfect way that it was kind of more amazing than if he had simply commanded the elements to make a house for him. I asked why they were building such a small house when they had that big castle. God had built that castle before, but now it was full of servants and other people and they just wanted a little place for themselves. He said he could in fact simply command the house to be built, but there was some sort of reward of doing it by hand.

Anyways I have no reason to believe that these dreams were accurate indications of God or Heaven, but I do believe in the symbolism that was portrayed. I believe God is a real person like us, but in a perfected state. I believe he is a unique being with his own personality and interests. And I believe he has a wife and family (of which we are part), not merely a bunch of creatures created and designed to worship him, and also that he is not alone, nor would he be God if he were alone. Exaltation-Godhood-is a family affai

I had a lucid dream last night. One of those ones that was so clear that even for a moment after I woke up, I thought it had been real. Very strange considering the content, which I'll explain later. The sad thing was it was very disappointing to realize that it was not real. I don't think dreams should be allowed to be more interesting than real life. It's sort of a cruel trick of nature that makes us wake up in the morning and think about how much suckier life is. (Now before you get all up in my grill for saying this, I'm not saying my life is sucky. It's pretty good. Just sucky in comparison).

So here's the dream. I went to apply for a job at CIC (Citizenship and Immigration Canada). They were in a small but very nice mausoleum or Greek temple-y sort of building. The workers were mostly in a beautiful garden out back doing something that wasn't related to work. They commented about how backed up they were but just laughed about it. I think there was one person inside actually working. At any rate, it was an idyllic workplace in that it was pretty laid back, quiet, and a beautiful building and grounds. I was pretty excited to drop off my resume.

The next day I went back. I didn't have an interview yet, but I wanted to follow up on my submission. When I got there, I saw a centaur sparring with some Greek guy in front of the building. Now, even in my dream, I knew centaurs weren't supposed to exist, and so I thought that this was indeed going to be a very interesting workplace. I felt like I had just signed on with the fantasy equivalent of Men in Black. It was cool. Well, the Centaur (who I instinctively felt was Chiron) started sparring with me, and I did ok. The Greek man he had been sparring with prior was Telemachus, whose name I recognized but didn't remember who it was until after I woke up (Odysseus' son).

Anyway, I had a little chat with Chiron and found out he already knew who I was and that he had known my parents back in Alberta. I felt my appearance at the CIC at this time was somehow guided by either Providence or Chiron himself, and that I was to be assured the position. I was so happy to have found all this, and wanted to see what new things other than centaurs I might discover. Sadly, I woke up, and have not seen a centaur since.

The lesson: I have to make my life so incredibly awesome that never again will I wake up disappointed after a dream.

Recently I've been doing a push to get more exercise. I'm too lazy to work out on my own, so I take some of those group classes at the gym. I used to watch those classes and think how easy they looked. Well, I started one called Body Pump which is kind of like aerobics with weights. Not those little weights people jog with either. Barbells. Deadlifts, squats, and all that noise. After my first day, I was so sore the following morning that I couldn't raise my arms over my head to wash my hair. That's getting better, but I still want to die about 45 minutes in to every class (about the time we do Lunges. With weights).

Anyway, I do feel better so I keep pushing myself to go. I'm not even trying to be muscly. Just fit. Actually, I'll be happy just to negate my poor diet.

The strangeness of this ordeal is that I have to practically kill myself to get healthy. If exercise is good for me, shouldn't my body CRAVE it? Same with junk food. I don't care if you're an atheist or religious, but somewhere along the line, be it Creation or evolution, a joke has been played on mankind.

On that note: why two genders to reproduce? Wouldn't asexual reproduction be more efficient? Save a lot of trouble dating, anyway.

I guess my point today is that nature is cruel. Yet we keep lobbying to save it. Somehow we've been tricked again.