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The Best of Humanity

5/21/2013

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One argument I often hear against either the existence or love of God is that if he existed he wouldn't allow terrible things to happen to good people. I suppose that is a good and valid question. After all, what kind of loving parent would allow horrible things to happen to their children without interfering? I don't think I have answers that will satisfy everyone, but I do have some feelings about this subject and even if you don't agree, I think you will agree that we have some problems in humanity that we need to address.

First, I do believe in God. I believe God loves us. I've had problems in my life but nothing compared to other people. I've always had enough food (too much, really); I've always had a place to live; and I have a good family. But I know people who have been homeless, had terrible diseases, been physically or sexually abused, or even grown up in war-torn environments where killing and rape are common. The funny thing is, those often aren't the people who complain about God. No, it's the armchair judges who sit back with their big dinners in their comfortable living rooms who see the news on TV and say what a horrible world it is. But many of the world's poor, and starving, and lonely people profess love for one God or another (whether this be Allah, or Jesus, it doesn't matter for this argument). I know this is a generalization. But here's an example of how I often think we misjudge the world and the people in it. Look how much focus we put on the 'poor starving children in Africa'. Yes, I know this is a real problem. There really are poor starving children in Africa. But we look down on them with an eye of pity and think how fortunate we are, and how lucky they would be to be over in the developed world with us. Well, recently I got a different perspective from a Facebook post by an old roommate from Guinea. He posted a picture of some African children talking about how children in the West were forced to sit in classrooms all day, and if they moved or spoke too much they were given drugs, and their most popular sources of entertainment was television. And one of the little boys expresses his alarm and suggests perhaps they should take up a donation for the poor children in the Western world.

The point is, if you know anybody from an extremely difficult background, I'll bet that they're often some of the wisest, strongest, bravest, and happiest people you know. Yes, they suffer. But the end product of that suffering often creates somebody very wonderful. Here's an example I'd like to share. It's a little girl with progeria (aging disease) who made a video before she died. She shares a bit of her story for other people who may have progeria. She comes across as a very kind and positive person. In fact, a friend of mine knew her and indeed said she was a very sweet girl. Watch the video (I'll give the link at the end of this post) and see for yourself. Here's a girl with a terribly debilitating disease-a life experience I'll wager more difficult than almost everyone who reads this post-and has turned into a very strong and brave individual.

Then scroll down and read the posts. Or don't - some are positive, but some are horrendously vile comments about her appearance. This girl, who, through a difficult trial that I believe has made her into one of humanity's great souls, is set upon by humanity's worst. And I'm willing to bet, though I have no proof, that none of the people saying mean things about her have been through anything even close to what she has gone through. They are the result of a soft life. Not always, but many times. I'll bet you can see this same pattern in people you know. Not always-but often-the people with the difficult lives are the great ones.

How does this relate to the question as to 'why would a loving God let this happen in the first place?' Well, imagine your own children. Let's pretend you could see their futures. You understood how everything that happened to them would affect the end result of their life. As an example, let's say you had a college-age son who had wasted his money at school and, ashamed of telling you, has become homeless. You know about it. You desperately want to swoop in and help. That is a natural, positive, and appropriate way to feel. But let's imagine you could see the end result. What if you saw the future, and you knew you were able to swoop in and help your son out of this mess, but his behavior never changed? He never learned to care for his own finances or live for himself. He became lazy. Laziness drove him to boredom. He wastes his life drinking and doing stupid things that he knows you will rescue him from. But then you looked at the future and saw that if you let him suffer the consequences. Maybe he'd suffer for a year or two, but then, out of desperation, he picks himself up and straightens out. He works hard, determined to make something of himself. He becomes a great leader and a great success. If you knew the end result-wouldn't you suffer a little sorrow for your son, knowing what the difficulties and pain would turn him in to?

Now, don't misinterpret me. I'm not saying pain and suffering are always the best road available. I like to avoid both as much as I can. And I think helping your children is a good idea. What I'm saying is, if you knew the end result, and you knew the difficult path was the one that ended in your son's greater success and happiness, wouldn't you let it happen? It would hurt both of you, while times were tough. But only for a while.

This is what I believe about God. I believe God is greatly pained by our suffering, especially when we inflict it on each other. But I believe he knows the end result, and therefore lets it happen. I also believe he is there to comfort us when it does happen (an experience I have felt many times, as well as many other people I know). He doesn't leave us alone. He allows us to learn, even when learning is hard. And he does it because he sees what great people we can become at the end.

So here's the video by Ashley Hegi, the girl with progeria. I hope get the same sense of strength and optimism I do from her.


Ashley Hegi Video
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The Sociality of Aging

5/16/2013

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First off, don't bother to mention that I spelled 'aging' instead of 'ageing'. I know as a Canadian I should be using the British spelling, but I'm more accustomed to the American style.

I turned 37 yesterday. Funny thing is I don't really feel much older than I did when I was twenty, except I've gained some weight and lost some hair. It's funny how time goes by faster as you get older. Judging by the time acceleration I've been noticing the last several years, I'll be dead in no  time!

I believe in aging gracefully. That means no toupees. No mid-life crisis. Just continue to have fun with life. The real challenge to me is that most people my age have already had a family. Someone with a spouse/children who is my age feels a lot different to me than someone in their twenties who does not. So a lot of my friends are younger. Which seems strange to me, but somehow I feel like I have more in common with a single twenty-something than a married thirty-something. The point being, I think marriage and children have a greater impact on social development than aging. Still, I don't think I behave the same as a twenty-something. I don't have the same energy, and the generation gap means there is often a disconnect in terms of interests and life experience. So I'm kind of in limbo. I don't see myself as a man-child: I'm socially responsible, hold down a job, and I don't go around drinking and partying. I'm not trying to recapture my youth. I don't wish I could be a kid again. I like where I'm at. It just often feels like not many people are at the same place.

Then there's dating. If I want to have kids of my own, I need to date a bit younger. It's tough for many women my age to have children. But dating younger can be creepy. Not only is there that social disconnect, but also a stigma attached if I were, say, to end up marrying someone ten or twelve years younger than myself. I suppose I shouldn't worry about stigmas, but I am extremely paranoid about sending off creepy signals and so actually often avoid situations in which I might be able to meet girls.

Health is another thing. As you age you need to watch your diet and exercise more. We lazy gluttons really struggle with this. I push myself to go to the gym and eat healthier, but its a constant challenge. And quite frankly I think I'm losing the battle. Also, I have some kind of herniated disk in my back which sets off my sciatic nerve. The constant threat of incapacitating pain really keeps wary as to what types of physical activity I can participate in.

This entry feels more like a really long Facebook status update than a blog. But I needed to write something.
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Forgiveness and Forgetitude

5/7/2013

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First order of business: it turns out that my skeleton earrings have to be re-worked. Despite the fact I have already received three successful prints of it, the 3D printer company has updated software that has deemed it is too fine to have a high rate of successful prints, so I have to rework it. A bit of a learning curve on the 3D-printing prefabrication front. Oh, well-I know the rules, I just need to be a bit more careful in the designs. Would be easier if I had my own printer so I could test print from home. Please send me money so I can buy one.

I have decided to put in e theme for today: that of Forgiveness. There is no real motivation for it at the moment, but I feel like it is a very important topic. A lot of people are either prone to hang onto grudges for slight offenses, or unable to forgive people for serious offenses (which is understandable, but harmful to the victim.) Let me explain.

A few years ago I got ripped off whilst seeking out a vehicle to buy. I basically lost $500. The details are not important, but involved some naiveté on my part. I was pretty angry. I even consulted with a lawyer friend on how to sue the person to get my money back. I was so angry for days that all I couldn't think about anything else. I decided I didn't like being angry. I decided to let it go. I forgave the person-not IN person, but in my heart I decided not to be angry with him anymore. Once I did that, the anger melted away. I didn't have my $500 dollars back, but the peace of mind was worth far more to me. The anger just slipped away. My lawyer friend even told me that $500 was not too bad of a rip-off, and I could use this experience as a relatively cheap life lesson.

Now, I'm not saying that forgiveness means letting go of justice. There are far worse things people suffer than losing $500. Some people have been raped or sexually abused. Some people have had family members abducted or even murdered. Facing up to these perpetrators must be painfully difficult. And 'letting it go' is not an option. The perpetrators of such horrendous acts must be caught, tried, and punished. I believe it is not only just but socially responsible to do all one can to capture and contain such criminal offenders. But I also believe the victim will not be able to move on until, somehow, they are able to forgive them.

Don't get me wrong. I don't believe such people necessarily deserve mercy or forgiveness. It isn't them I'm worried about. It's just that the victim and the victim's friends and families deserve peace. I don't think that peace can be found until the horror and anger over the crime can be let go.  It's a tough thing, I'll admit, and as I haven't had such horrible things happen to my loved ones (well, I have to a degree, but not as much as some people), but I have observed how harboring grudges and anger ruins people's lives. Usually its about stupid things. So-and-so didn't invite me to their birthday party, or didn't say hello to me on the way to work that one time, or something small and trite like that. You want to hold on to minor grudges, go ahead. Make yourself miserable, because if you are so willing to sacrifice your relationship for petty grievances then maybe you just enjoy being miserable. But some people have been really hurt. Sometimes the pain or damage is irreparable and life-changing. So why forgive the person that took it all away?

You deserve to do it, that's why. Wipe that person like wiping the grime off the bottom of your shoe. Forgiveness doesn't need to mean understanding why they did it. It doesn't even need to mean empathy (though it sometimes will). Forgiveness means saying to yourself, 'I'm done with this person and I am moving on with my life. I am tired of the anger and fear and bitterness ruining every day. I want to feel at peace.'

It can be hard, but there is encouragement. There is a web site called 'The Forgiveness Project' that is full of real-life examples of people who have forgiven others who have done terrible things to them. Worse things than have likely ever happened to anyone reading this post (though I recognize there may be exceptions). Read some of these stories. They will explain how some of these people came to forgive those that hurt them, and explain how it improved their lives. I will provide a link to the site:



The Forgiveness Project
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Another Muppet News Flash

5/5/2013

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The Walk for Muscular Dystrophy was a success! I raised over $100, which doesn't seem like it would be hard but it was for me. I'm not much of a salesman. Still, it was enough for me to get a free T-shirt and overall I think we raised about double what was raised last year. Also, my team leader had made us our own T-shirts for the walk, so overall I don't need to buy a shirt for awhile. Also, I got badly sunburnt during the walk.

In other news, I have added some links to movies and TV shows. I am specifically trying to post ones that are not easily available (ie, not already on Netflix) or not well known. A couple are foreign. The links actually just go to other sites, but I wanted to do this as I often have to wade through sites which simply link me to ads or file sites where I need to register, or simply hop from site to site. So these links should be pretty clean, though one or two will have ads that pop up you need to close. I put the full pre-Disney Muppet Show in there, hence the title of this post.

Feel free to leave comments regarding films or shows you would like me to track down. I'm only going to post ones I wouldn't be embarrassed for my nieces and nephews to see, so bear that in mind. The ones that are already up are a good guide. Also, you will notice that 'Pulgasari' kind of sucks. The reason I posted it was because I'm fascinated by anything out of North Korea, as that country is such an enigma, and the background story behind the making of the film is rather interesting.

Thank you to everyone who helped with and donated to the walk today!

Now I shall go to bed.
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